Jewish Derangement Syndrome
If your coffee order was made wrong, well, it is probably the Jews’ fault too.
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Ah, Jewish Derangement Syndrome — a modern affliction that sweeps through intellectual circles, social media feeds, and university campuses with unparalleled zeal.
It renders its sufferers immune to nuance, allergic to history, and passionately committed to misunderstanding Jews, Jewish history, Zionism, and Judaism. Symptoms include, but are not limited to, conflating “Zionist” with “imperialist,” confusing “Jewish self-determination” with “global domination,” commingling “Jews” with “capitalists” or “communists,” and treating Israel like a James Bond villain whose sole mission is to wreak havoc while twirling its metaphorical mustache.
But before diving into the finer details of this peculiar malady, it is worth defining our terms. Zionism, at its essence, is the movement advocating for the self-determination of the Jewish People in our historic homeland. It is a response to millennia of displacement and persecution, culminating in the Holocaust.
From the Babylonian exile to the Inquisition, from pogroms in Eastern Europe to the second-class citizenship in Arab lands, the Jewish experience has been a case study in why a sovereign homeland is not just a desire but a necessity. Zionism seeks to address this need.
You would think this would be a straightforward proposition, particularly in a world that has accommodated far shakier claims to nationhood. Yet, mention Israel or Zionism in polite company, and watch as reason and proportion vanish like smoke. What follows is a cascade of irrationality that, if it was not so harmful, it might be almost comical.
The Outrage Olympics
A hallmark of Jewish Derangement Syndrome is its casual disregard for scale and context.
Critics of Israel hold it to a standard no other nation is asked to meet. Is the country perfect? Of course not; no nation is. But the level of scrutiny Israel endures is unmatched.
Consider this: Israel is a nation of roughly 10 million people — smaller in population than New York City. Yet it dominates international headlines as though it were an omnipotent superpower. A housing project in Jerusalem elicits more global condemnation than a war crime committed by a dictatorship. Israel announces plans to build settlements in the disputed (not to be mislabeled “occupied”) West Bank, and the world reacts as though it just detonated a nuclear bomb.
Meanwhile, actual nuclear bombs — or at least their moral equivalents — get a pass. Consider China’s treatment of the Uyghurs, bloody Muslim conquests in Africa, a brutal military dictatorship featuring persecution of the Rohingya minority in Myanmar, or Syria’s decade-long civil war. These situations, involving the systematic oppression and deaths of hundreds of thousands, generate polite concern at best and utter indifference at worst.
But an Israeli airstrike in response to rockets aimed at civilian populations? That triggers emergency sessions at the United Nations and breathless op-eds about the “moral bankruptcy of the Zionist project.”
This disproportionate outrage is not just illogical; it is hypocritical. Critics often demand that Israel act with surgical precision in its military responses, as though self-defense is a luxury only available to countries that fail at it.
When Hamas, Palestinian Islamic Jihad, and Hezbollah purposefully fire rockets from densely populated areas, knowing full well that retaliatory strikes will cause collateral damage, the blame is not placed on the terrorists who use human shields, but on the Israelis forced to choose between inaction (meaning lack of deterrence) or the obvious need for self-defense.
The Historical Amnesia of Jewish Derangement Syndrome
To truly understand Jewish Derangement Syndrome, one must appreciate its reliance on a selective reading of history. Context is inconvenient for its sufferers; it muddies the waters of righteous indignation.
For instance, much of the criticism leveled at Israel hinges on the idea that it is a “colonial project,” a foreign imposition on an otherwise harmonious region. This framing is not just ahistorical — it is laughably so.
The Jewish connection to the land of Israel predates most modern nations by centuries. The Bible references Jewish sovereignty in the region, archaeological evidence corroborates it, and Jewish communities have continuously lived in the land, albeit often as minorities. Zionism was not born out of thin air; it emerged in response to very real threats to Jewish survival.
Yet Jewish Derangement Syndrome reframes this narrative entirely. It baselessly casts Zionists as interlopers and oppressors, while conveniently ignoring that Jews were indigenous to the region long before the Arab conquests.
It erases the history of Jewish refugees expelled from Arab lands before and after 1948 — nearly a million people forced to flee their homes with little more than the clothes on their backs, since they were barred from taking any of their assets or major possessions with them.
These stories disrupt the tidy dichotomy of “oppressor” and “oppressed” that Jewish Derangement Syndrome enthusiasts prefer, so they are relegated to footnotes or ignored altogether.
Another hallmark of Jewish Derangement Syndrome is the tendency to blame Jews —and by extension, Israel — for everything. Now-defeated U.S. Congresswoman Cori Bush, for example, has blamed U.S. funding to Israel for homelessness and crime in her jurisdiction of St. Louis, Missouri — invoking traditional antisemitic scapegoating and making good on a twisted tactic: to make every issue about, you know, “Palestine.”
Furthermore, if there is a conflict in the Middle East, it is Israel’s fault by default and the entire Jewish People should be held accountable, wherever they live in the world. If your coffee order was made wrong, well, it is probably the Jews’ fault too.
This obsession with Israel is as irrational as it is revealing. While Israel is treated as the central obstacle to peace, prosperity, and overall happiness in the Middle East, the 2021 Abraham Accords proved that this is far from true; several Arab countries normalized relations with Israel, bypassing the supposedly unsolvable Israeli-Palestinian conflict. But to a Jewish Derangement Syndrome sufferer, facts like these are inconvenient distractions from their obtuse narrative.
The United Nations is another prime example of institutional Jewish Derangement Syndrome. Since its inception, the UN has passed more resolutions condemning Israel than any other country. Not North Korea. Not the Islamic Republic of Iran. Not Syria. Not Russia. Not Eritrea. Not Venezuela. Not Sudan.
Israel.
The only liberal democracy in the Middle East is subjected to more scrutiny than regimes that actively gas their citizens or starve entire populations. Why? Because Jewish Derangement Syndrome is impregnated with endless double standards.
When ‘Anti-Zionism’ Becomes Antisemitism
Another curious feature of Jewish Derangement Syndrome is how quickly it morphs into outright antisemitism. Its proponents are quick to insist that they are “only” criticizing Israel, not Jewish people. Yet their rhetoric often betrays them.
“Zionists” (in a morally corrupt sense of the term) are accused of dual loyalty, global conspiracies, blood libels about killing innocent children, and sinister control over politics and media. If this sounds familiar, it is because these are the same tropes that have been weaponized against Jews for centuries.
So-called “anti-Zionists” often claim to oppose nationalism in all its forms, yet their outrage is peculiarly selective. Kurdish or Tibetan self-determination rarely sparks campus protests or viral hashtags. The notion of a Palestinian state is championed with fervor, while the idea of a Jewish state is derided as inherently racist.
Why is Jewish nationalism uniquely unacceptable? What makes Jewish self-determination so offensive, even to those who otherwise profess to support marginalized groups?
The answer lies, again, in the double standards that Jewish Derangement Syndrome thrives on. Israel is condemned for being a Jewish state, yet no one seems to bat an eye at the existence of some 50 Muslim-majority nations, Christian theocracies, or ethnically homogenous states elsewhere.
If the principle of self-determination is universal, why are Jews excluded from it?
So-Called ‘Progressives’ and the Jewish Derangement Syndrome Paradox
Jewish Derangement Syndrome finds a particularly fertile ground in quasi-“progressive” circles, where it thrives on a combination of ignorance and ideological inconsistency. Many self-proclaimed progressives champion causes like LGBTQ+ rights, gender equality, and freedom of expression. Yet they vilify Israel, the only country in the Middle East where such values are upheld.
This paradox is glaring. Israel hosts Gay Pride parades while its neighbors criminalize homosexuality. Women in Israel serve in the military, lead political parties, and head Supreme Court panels. Compare this to neighboring nations where women are still fighting for the right to drive or attend school. And yet, when it comes to Israel, these same “progressives” pivot to a “moral relativism” that excuses the most regressive practices elsewhere.
This cognitive dissonance is especially evident in academia. Ideals are worn like badges, reality is an inconvenience, and cognitive dissonance thrives like ivy on the ancient stone walls. Professors, self-styled as crusaders for justice, and students, armed with Instagram activism and righteous indignation, seem to inhabit a parallel universe where facts are mere annoyances. And they call themselves “academics.” Oh the irony!
Professors and students alike claim to oppose oppression but align themselves with organizations and movements that explicitly call for oppression. They speak of human rights while ignoring Hamas and the Palestinian Authority’s repression of Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank, its use of child soldiers, and its brutal suppression of dissent.
Hamas, whose charter brims with genocidal rhetoric, is somehow recast as a grassroots “resistance” movement. Never mind that it obscenely represses women, executes dissenters, and indoctrinates children with hate. The Palestinian Authority, meanwhile, with its corruption, political imprisonments, and silencing of journalists, escapes critique altogether. Why? Because acknowledging these realities would complicate the tidy dichotomy of oppressor and oppressed that academia so loves to uphold.
It is as if there’s a collective blind spot, one that conveniently overlooks Hamas’ penchant for using schools, hospitals, and mosques as literal shields, or the Palestinian Authority’s habitual embezzling of humanitarian aid meant for its people. Instead, the focus remains squarely on Israel, which, while imperfect, is a democracy with an independent judiciary, LGBTQ+ rights, and Arab citizens serving in its parliament. But those inconvenient truths are airbrushed out of the academic narrative, replaced by the myth of Israel as a singular, malevolent force in the region.
The very people who claim to champion the downtrodden actively enable the oppression of the very individuals they purport to defend.
And let’s not forget the irony of students at elite institutions, many of whom have never experienced hardship more significant than a slow internet connection, declaring themselves experts on Middle East geopolitics. Armed with little more than a viral infographic and a Che Guevara tote bag, they pontificate on the “evils” of Israel while glossing over the actual horrors faced by Palestinians under their own leadership.
In academia, it seems, moral consistency is optional, historical context is a nuisance, and cognitive dissonance is a prerequisite for participation. After all, why grapple with the messy complexities of the real world when you can retreat into the comforting simplicity of ideological purity?
Social media has also amplified Jewish Derangement Syndrome to dizzying heights. Platforms like Twitter and TikTok are tailor-made for shallow “hot takes” and moral grandstanding, both of which are central to the Jewish Derangement Syndrome playbook. A single image of an Israeli tank — or worse, an out-of-context snippet — can ignite a firestorm of condemnation without any need for facts or nuance.
What’s more, misinformation spreads like wildfire. Entire movements are built on half-truths, doctored images, and outright lies.
Take the infamous “apartheid” label, for example. It is a favorite among Jewish Derangement Syndrome sufferers, despite being a gross misrepresentation of Israeli society. Arab citizens of Israel vote, serve in the Knesset, and hold high-ranking positions in academia, medicine, and law. Compare this to actual apartheid in South Africa, where racial segregation was enshrined in law, and the comparison collapses. But who needs accuracy when obnoxious outrage is the goal?
Social media also rewards performative activism, creating a dishonest feedback loop where bad ideas are reinforced and critical thinking is discouraged. It is easy to change your profile picture, retweet a slogan, or share a meme. Engaging with the complexities of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? No, thanks.
The Cure for Jewish Derangement Syndrome
Is there a cure for Jewish Derangement Syndrome?
It is difficult to say.
Rational discourse and historical education seem to have little effect on its most devoted adherents. For them, Jewish Derangement Syndrome is not a logical position but a moral identity, a way to signal virtue in a complex and morally ambiguous world.
For the rest of us, the best defense is vigilance. We must call out double standards, challenge misinformation, and refuse to let simplistic narratives take root. They are the lifeblood of Jewish Derangement Syndrome, offering an easy-to-digest worldview where nuance and history are relegated to the sidelines. If left unchallenged, these distortions become self-reinforcing, spreading through echo chambers like intellectual contagions.
The cure, if one exists, lies in relentless exposure to reality. It requires holding up a mirror to the absurdity of their claims, forcing them to confront contradictions like the “progressive” who champions women’s rights while excusing Hamas, or the activist who boycotts “Israeli hummus” while scrolling on a smartphone powered by Israeli tech.
Will it work?
Maybe not — but at least we will get some entertainment out of watching them tie themselves into ideological pretzels.
Ultimately, combating Jewish Derangement Syndrome is not about convincing the afflicted; it is about preventing the syndrome from claiming new victims. Let the sufferers cling to their conspiracy theories and performative outrage.
The rest of us will be over here, grounded in reality, sipping our ethically sourced coffee, and marveling at their capacity for self-parody.
Antisemitism has been a scourge of "civilization" for two millennia. It is naive to think that the occasional respite represents a "cure." Jewish passivity has never worked; a strong Israel may have a chance to weather it.
JDS ± BDS = BS!