Thank G-d the rabbi was late. There are no coincidences. I often thank G-d for traffic from an accident. If I was earlier I could have been in that collision.
I appreciate the separation during a Chabad service. I am told women are already closer to G-d. Maybe this is why the men must focus.
Getting used to Religion will be the hardest part of adjusting to life in Israel, for me. Life is secular here in the UK. I am secular but open minded. Can we afford such luxuries as birth rates plummet below replacement levels here in The West? Do we need Religion to maintain the life of a Muslim-free State? These are no longer mute questions.
I'm a bloke but your experience is well written and I feel a little nervous distracting but the girls who want & can are given the opportunity to go much further than any other army.
Beautiful essay. As someone who moves around a lot and ends up in unknown shuls I love the women's section and feel that I am welcomed in a way I would not be if the other women were sitting with their husbands. It gives women the opportunity to relate and bond that is missing when the family dynamic is added.
What a beautiful piece. As a mother of boys, I can relate, but I think it would have been devastatingly difficult not to physically be near my youngest for his Bar Mitzvah. I often wondered about the pros and cons of the separation and you make a wonderful explanation.
Thank you @Karen Davis! I completely understand how it can feel difficult. Logically, it makes perfect sense. Why should you be fenced off from your child on this momentous day? But in the moment, it just felt OK to me…
Well truthfully Judaism always challenges us with difficulties. And then we find out why much later. People think being “chosen” means better but what it really means is that we have been chosen to go through life questioning, investigating and being challenged.
Of course, it is good to do things separately as men and women. It's also good to have individual time as well as time with community. However, I still find it offensive as a woman that we must be separated in religious participation in the name of 'distraction'. It places woman in a long-handed down image of seducer or bad/evil influencer, who might weaken the strength of a man. It reinforces that concept. It also conveys the impression that man is not strong enough, disciplined enough, to resist such influence. I like nothing about all this. Let us be true to ourselves as adults and strong and healthy in our associations, sharing spirituality and life as we choose, not being cut off by law to obey practices that were not actually even in place in more ancient times.
I'm friendly to the idea that equality between men and women doesn't mean they have to do the same things. I like the way separation can mean women get to be with women, and men get to be with men, at least temporarily.
But I'm a bit uneasy with your imaginary Polish woman, for whom the mechitsah offers escape from a carping and unlikeable husband. Is there something I'm missing?
I went to all boys schools from 1st to 12th grades starting in 1952. Then I went to a men's only college for a semester, followed by 4 years in the US Army without ever seeing a female soldier.
By the time I returned to the US in January, 1971 after over 3 years overseas in the military I gave college a second try and was in classes with women for the 1st time.
This is a good (or at least coherent) argument for separating men and women. I get it. I know when I was young, having girls right there with us would have been distracting, as it would be for them.
It's not an argument for making women lesser participants at shul. Perhaps the women's section should have a women's service with women rabbis and aliyas for women.
Thank you so much for your wonderful essay!!!!!!!..... I do agreed with you about partnership/ equality of modern life, but when is about praying, I am glad to belong to a modern orthodox Synagogue, with a division (mechitza) !!!!!!!!!!....
A beautiful essay. May your sons grow strong and may they somehow never know war. Somehow.
That’s so kind @Irwin Weiss! Thank you for reading and for the peaceful wishes…
Very well-explained. I can relate as a former feminist, now with a change of perspective. I am also from Canada, living in Israel for 34 years.
Thank you @Menucha Chana Levin, nothing compares to life experience…
Thank G-d the rabbi was late. There are no coincidences. I often thank G-d for traffic from an accident. If I was earlier I could have been in that collision.
I appreciate the separation during a Chabad service. I am told women are already closer to G-d. Maybe this is why the men must focus.
It reminds of that movie Sliding Doors, right?
Yes! Good movie.
Hard agree. The miracle that led to the survival of your Rabbi and young relatives brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Praise g-d.
Thank you for the kind words, Cassandra. I tend to think it was a indeed a miracle…
Getting used to Religion will be the hardest part of adjusting to life in Israel, for me. Life is secular here in the UK. I am secular but open minded. Can we afford such luxuries as birth rates plummet below replacement levels here in The West? Do we need Religion to maintain the life of a Muslim-free State? These are no longer mute questions.
I'm a bloke but your experience is well written and I feel a little nervous distracting but the girls who want & can are given the opportunity to go much further than any other army.
Beautiful essay. As someone who moves around a lot and ends up in unknown shuls I love the women's section and feel that I am welcomed in a way I would not be if the other women were sitting with their husbands. It gives women the opportunity to relate and bond that is missing when the family dynamic is added.
Thanks for your insight.
I love that @Alison Cipriani! I can totally see how a women only environment would be more welcoming for a newbie than couples.
What a beautiful piece. As a mother of boys, I can relate, but I think it would have been devastatingly difficult not to physically be near my youngest for his Bar Mitzvah. I often wondered about the pros and cons of the separation and you make a wonderful explanation.
Thank you @Karen Davis! I completely understand how it can feel difficult. Logically, it makes perfect sense. Why should you be fenced off from your child on this momentous day? But in the moment, it just felt OK to me…
Well truthfully Judaism always challenges us with difficulties. And then we find out why much later. People think being “chosen” means better but what it really means is that we have been chosen to go through life questioning, investigating and being challenged.
Of course, it is good to do things separately as men and women. It's also good to have individual time as well as time with community. However, I still find it offensive as a woman that we must be separated in religious participation in the name of 'distraction'. It places woman in a long-handed down image of seducer or bad/evil influencer, who might weaken the strength of a man. It reinforces that concept. It also conveys the impression that man is not strong enough, disciplined enough, to resist such influence. I like nothing about all this. Let us be true to ourselves as adults and strong and healthy in our associations, sharing spirituality and life as we choose, not being cut off by law to obey practices that were not actually even in place in more ancient times.
I'm friendly to the idea that equality between men and women doesn't mean they have to do the same things. I like the way separation can mean women get to be with women, and men get to be with men, at least temporarily.
But I'm a bit uneasy with your imaginary Polish woman, for whom the mechitsah offers escape from a carping and unlikeable husband. Is there something I'm missing?
Thank you for sharing the insights. you won enduring such hardships.
Ideologically driven certainties belie the real complexities we live with day in and day out.
May you, your family, your community, and k'lal Yisrael survive, thrive, and multiply.
Wishing I could be one of you.
I went to all boys schools from 1st to 12th grades starting in 1952. Then I went to a men's only college for a semester, followed by 4 years in the US Army without ever seeing a female soldier.
By the time I returned to the US in January, 1971 after over 3 years overseas in the military I gave college a second try and was in classes with women for the 1st time.
It was a nice change.
This is a good (or at least coherent) argument for separating men and women. I get it. I know when I was young, having girls right there with us would have been distracting, as it would be for them.
It's not an argument for making women lesser participants at shul. Perhaps the women's section should have a women's service with women rabbis and aliyas for women.
A strangely touching essay. Loved it; tearing up.
Thank you so much for your wonderful essay!!!!!!!..... I do agreed with you about partnership/ equality of modern life, but when is about praying, I am glad to belong to a modern orthodox Synagogue, with a division (mechitza) !!!!!!!!!!....
@Beatrice Nora Caflun yes, I finally understand this!
Thanks for your perspective