The Wisdom of Rabbi Noah Weinberg, Part 2
The Wisdom of Rabbi Noah Weinberg, Part 2
He founded Aish HaTorah, a Jewish education center in the Old City of Jerusalem.
This is part two in a series about the teachings of Rabbi Noah Weinberg, who founded Aish HaTorah, a Jewish education center in the Old City of Jerusalem, in 1974. Read part one here.
1. Learn to differentiate between real joy, which generates the power to accomplish, and illusory joy, whose burst of energy fades into a let-down. True joy comes from the pleasure of growth and self-actualization — when we conquer a difficult challenge, or experience a moment of clarity.
Joy cannot result from events, from “good things happening to you.” Joy is solely the result of your reaction to life, your commitment to turning every moment into a growth experience.
2. In Jewish consciousness, before any important activity, we say: Hineni muchan u’me’zuman (“I am about to do activity X.”) It’s a declaration to apply one’s mind (i.e. concentrate) for a certain period of time, and to block out extraneous thoughts and emotions. Try saying aloud “I am now going to study,” or “I am now going to honor my parents,” et cetera.
3. Happiness is not a happening. Happiness is a state of mind. You can have everything in the world and still be miserable. Or you can have relatively little and feel unbounded joy. The Orchot Tzaddikim (a book on Jewish ethics written in Germany in the 15th century) says:
“Joy dwells in a person’s heart when he does not focus on troubles.”
If you can focus away from the troubles, the natural condition is joy.
4. There’s a difference between concern and worry. “Worry” means your problems consume you, even when you can’t do anything to solve them. “Concern” means you pay attention to problems and look for solutions — but don’t become depressed by them. When you have joy, you are a problem solver, not a problem sufferer.
5. To succeed in life, you have to desire wisdom, and pursue it with enthusiasm. Hang around wise people and see how they apply wisdom to living. Wisdom is the key to a meaningful life. You’d never dream of using trial and error in the operating room. So why leave your personal life to guesswork?
6. Intellectual purity means sorting out your ideas. Distinguish which are true and which are false; which make sense and which are foolish. Then clear your mind; filter out the “garbage” so it doesn’t get mixed into your brain.
Just as you need purity of mind, you also need purity of heart — “one emotion at a time.” Different emotions can invade at the wrong time, and if you’re not clear, you’ll get pulled in too many directions. Being pulled in opposite directions causes paralysis. There’s an old saying that “the donkey died because he couldn’t decide between two bales of hay.” Before entering a situation, decide in advance which emotion you want to “ride.”
7. Wisdom is a great source of joy. With wisdom, we understand the world around us and our role in it. Judaism says that the essence of all joy is Torah. Why? Because Torah teaches us the meaning of life. It teaches us how to connect with the Almighty, how to live according to God’s will. That's why on Tisha B’Av, the Jewish national day of mourning, we are not allowed to learn Torah. Because Torah is joy. The great Kabbalist, the AriZal (16th-century Israel) said”
“Joy opens the doors to great heights of wisdom.”
The more wisdom you gain, the happier your life will be.”
8. King Solomon was said to be the wisest person who ever lived, yet he still had a mentor. Tradition says that as long as Solomon’s mentor was alive, he never made a mistake; once the mentor died, Solomon erred.
Human beings tend to hold onto what we “know” and defend our position. Wisdom requires change, moving out of our comfort zone. Too often we avoid the pain and drop the wisdom altogether. Resist this temptation. In choosing a mentor, find someone who will challenge you and encourage you to become great. Don’t choose someone who allows you to maintain your weaknesses and prejudices.
9. When shopping for a car, you decide in advance on a specific set of features, and then shop around for the best deal before making an investment. We should do no less when looking for a friend.
Yet often our friends are the result of circumstances: neighbors, colleagues, roommates. “We played tennis on the same court, then shared a pizza and now we’re friends.” It’s not as simple as that. A good tennis partner might not make a good friend once your interest in tennis has waned. Ask yourself: “What will this friend be like 20 years from now?” Be proactive and go find the right friend. A friend should be for life. Choose a friend who seeks truth, and whose goals and values you respect.
10. The Torah tells us that “two are better than one.” Why? Because we can be more objective about others’ mistakes than about our own. You are there to lift each other, and give constructive criticism to correct errors. A close friend stimulates your creativity, like a think tank. You get together and brainstorm ideas. Anything goes. A friend won’t shoot you down because you said something ridiculous. A friend is more than companionship. A true friend helps you become the best you can be.
In Judaism, the preferred method for Torah study is with a partner. Working it out with a friend is an essential part of finding truth.
The Talmud speaks about the great scholar Rabbi Yochanan and his study partner Reish Lakish. The two learned together for many years, until one day Reish Lakish became sick and died. Rabbi Yochanan was totally distraught over the loss. His students tried to comfort him by saying, “Don’t worry, Rabbi. We’ll find you a new study partner — the most brilliant man in town.”
A few weeks later, Rabbi Yochanan was seen walking down the street, totally depressed. “Rabbi, what’s the problem?” his students asked. “We sent you a brilliant study partner. Why are you so sad?”
Rabbi Yochanan told them: “He is indeed a scholar. In fact, he’s so brilliant that he can come up with 24 ways to prove what I’m saying is correct. But when I studied with Reish Lakish, he brought 24 proofs that I was wrong. And that’s what I miss! I want a partner who will criticize and question. That’s what Torah study is all about.”
11. A successful discussion is built around the maxim: “People of goodwill who reason together will reach a common conclusion.” This means: I am willing to hear the other side. I want to know the truth. I will consider the evidence. I am willing to change, even if it’s painful.
Instead of sticking to the facts, people often end up attacking each other. Whenever you get into a discussion with someone who is insulting or antagonistic, stop and focus both of you on “goodwill.” Define your terms together. Bring the conversation into rational terms. Otherwise, you are boxed into your respective positions and there is no use arguing.
The key is to be a judge, not a lawyer. What’s the difference between a judge and a lawyer? A lawyer argues for the side that’s paying his fee. A judge remains objective so he can weigh both sides and discover the truth. People who get into arguments as “lawyers” are only interested in winning the discussion. They may “listen” to the other person, but they don’t really “hear.” They hear only what they want to hear.
As the Talmud says: The way to tell if an argument is sincerely about the truth, is when both people come out loving each other more in the end. It isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile.
12. Explaining an idea to others forces you to clarify it for yourself. You examine everything much more thoroughly — the details, logical progression, et cetera. And you’ll become personally moved by the idea. As the Sages said:
“I learned a lot from my teachers. I learned even more from my colleagues. But most of all, I learned from my students.”
Until you share an idea, it’s not yours. It remains but a hazy notion in your imagination. Transmitting the idea to others makes it real. You’ve taken it out of potential and made it a reality. By reaching others, you will reach yourself.
13. Teaching is a moral obligation, a way to build an eternal bond with another person.
What is teaching? Communicating to an independent human the clarity of a concept. To teach is to get others to see and understand it on their own terms. To enable the student to get in touch with what he already knows — and rediscover it on their own. Give your student enough space to weigh the evidence and make their own decision. Be confident that truth will prevail. Otherwise you’re just forcing it down their throat.
Teaching is not just conveying bits and bytes of information; it’s about affecting a change in behavior. Figure out how to transmit an idea, clearly and concisely, so that others will not only appreciate it, but will actually put it into practice. Otherwise, you haven’t succeeded in “teaching.”
14. We might make snap decisions or mull over decisions for too long. Become skilled at a happy medium of decision-making. The Sages say that, whatever you encounter, study it four times. This process is likened to the act of planting — because wisdom is for the soul what food is for the body.
Plowing – The first time you go over an idea, try to figure it out. That’s “breaking up the soil.”
Planting – The second time, the idea begins to make sense. You’re “putting seeds into the ground,” planting it into yourself.
Harvesting – The third time, you come to an experiential and intellectual understanding. It’s “reaping the wheat.”
Digesting – The fourth time, you integrate the idea into your life. It “nourishes” your soul and is now part of you.
Realize that true growth is a long process. That’s why deliberation is an important tool, because it forces you to slow down, exercise patience, and stretch the limits of your powers.
15. The Torah isn’t a history book, a physics book or a storybook. Rather, it is Torat Chaim — literally “instructions for living.” Every word, every phrase contains a message how to maximize pleasure in life. Look for the deeper message — the wisdom within — and you will reap immense rewards.
The Torah was meant for everybody. It is not the exclusive domain of some priestly class. Rather, it is a living, breathing document — the lifeblood of our Jewish nation. We are required at all times to involve ourselves in its study and practice.
Some people use the excuse, “I’m too old to begin learning.” But the Talmudic scholar Rebbe Akiva didn’t even learn the Aleph-Bet until he was age 40. This is the same Rebbe Akiva who became the greatest sage of his generation with 24,000 students! Some people are hesitant to learn the Torah because they can’t imagine ever becoming a scholar, so therefore why even get started? This is faulty thinking. Every drop of Torah study is precious and eternal.
Judaism is not a reference work sitting on the shelf. It’s to be lived and internalized. In the Torah, the basics are laid out in writing, but the remainder must be learned orally. The give-and-take exchange, from teacher to student, encourages us to discuss and clarify, to know it backward and forward.
In a 747 airplane, the pilot spends a half-hour going through a checklist, before even pulling the plane onto the runway. So too, you need a checklist for living. Memorize it and keep it with you at all times. This is what Mishnah (the Oral Torah) is all about.
If you want to feel what your Jewish ancestors felt, learn one chapter of Mishnah by heart. That is the Jewish culture at its roots. The beauty of it will get to you. You will appreciate Torah from Sinai. You will understand what the Jewish people are truly about.
16. Would you rather be rich or wise? Wise, of course. So why do we pursue money with more zeal? Because money is more real to us. The key is to take that motivation for money, and apply it to the more meaningful aspects of life: relationships, spirituality.
If your career or business is worth it, then certainly “You, Inc.” is worth it, too. Deal with yourself as if you’re a big business. Examine how you strive to make a dollar, and seek wisdom in this same way. Apply business principles to living. Life is big business. Get organized. Get your time under control. You’ll have less stress and achieve more.
We all know that, to succeed in business, you have to keep on top of industry trends and innovations. In life, you have to keep up with the latest techniques in wisdom. Attend seminars. Read books. Take supplemental courses. All this will keep you growing — and will keep you far from ignorance and apathy. Constantly pursue wisdom. Be a “wisdom-aholic.”
17. Here’s a short list of traits needed for success: assertive, consistent, determined, efficient, goal-oriented, honest, loyal, open to criticism, optimistic, organized, patient, reliable, self-esteemed, self-disciplined, sense of humor, teamwork, tolerant.
A business cannot rest on its laurels. Eventually a competitor will come along with a better and cheaper product. That’s why a successful business will invest in research and development to stay on the cutting edge. You, too, should spend time “researching and developing” better techniques for living.
The law of physics states: If it’s not growing, it’s deteriorating. So don’t be “satisfied” with your current level. Always look for new ways to grow.
18. The Midrash offers a story of Elijah the Prophet and a fisherman. “Do you study Torah?” Elijah asked. “No,” replied the fisherman, “I’m just a simple man. I am not endowed with any measure of talent or intelligence. I can’t understand Torah. It’s the Almighty’s fault!”
“Tell me, how do you prepare your fishing net?” Elijah said. “Well,” the man replied, “It’s actually quite complicated. First I have to select the proper gauge rope, and then I weave the net in a particular pattern to ensure that it has the proper balance of strength and flexibility. It’s a whole science.”
“How do you go about actually catching the fish?” Elijah inquired. “Oh, that’s also very complex. There are many factors involved — the season of the year, time of day, type of fish and location. I also account for water depth, temperature, and speed of the current. I’ve spent years mastering these techniques, and I’m able to earn a good living from my fishing.”
“When you get to heaven,” Elijah said, “you plan to claim that you didn’t study Torah study because you’re just a simple person, not endowed with any talent or intelligence. Everyone tries this defense. But you’re a successful fisherman! Your actions disprove your claim. You have what it takes to be great.”
Sometimes we all fall into a mode of self-pity. “If only I understood how, I would have accomplished more. I would have been a better parent, and a more caring and loving spouse. But Almighty, You didn’t give me the right tools!”
We all have the right tools. And deep down we know that wisdom is more important than money. The real question is once you acquire all these tokens, how should you spend them? You can’t buy love. You can’t buy happiness. The money has to be transferred into something meaningful. Make the commitment. When you minimize business and maximize growth, you’re making a statement about what really counts.