Do as the Israelis do.
Israelis know that antisemites are empowered by Jewish fear and neutralized by Jewish strength.
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At the beginning of this Israel-Hamas war, I found myself explaining, justifying, reasoning, and attempting to pull at the heart strings of many people who simply do not get “it.”
Then, in November, as I was walking down the street in Vienna with two Israeli friends who left Israel because they had a newborn and did not have a bomb shelter in their Tel Aviv building, I brought up something to my friend Idan about a ridiculous statement that some United Nations dimwit had just said in the media.
Idan replied, completely unmoved:
“I don’t get riled up about these things anymore.”
Since then, I have been trying to apply this Israeli attitude, not just in reading and watching the news, but in speaking with other people who ultimately have no semblance of an idea about what is going on in Israel and the Middle East; between Israelis and the Palestinians; and the geopolitical intricacies and histories that are strapped to this war, the Israeli-Palestinian saga, and this region.
Some people genuinely want to listen and learn, and with these people there are productive conversations to be had, but for the vast majority of people who are so quick to judge or have an (uninformed) opinion that simply “feels good” or “sounds right,” it is time that more of us embody the Israeli way:
We are deeply proud of our country, we are unquestionably impressed by the soldiers who are defending Israel against an existential threat (Iran’s “Axis of Resistance”) as well as their family and friends who are making tremendous psychological, emotional, and even financial sacrifices — and we make no apologies about it.
Of course war is messy, unfortunate things happen, no Israeli soldier is perfect, and a few are malicious or ill-advised. But we do not need to state the obvious or engage with people who play the “whataboutism” game to deflect from the most pertinent issues, or gaslight us into feeling like we should be ashamed or embarrassed to stand up for ourselves, our people, and our country.
Quite a few of us are familiar with the now-classic rebuttal, “But what about the Palestinian children and women?” I am not sure how you prefer to respond to this, but the average Israeli would probably say something like:
“What about them? I teach my kids co-existence, to tolerate those who tolerate us. If the Palestinians do not, that is their problem. Am Yisrael Chai.”
A Jewish activist who goes by the name “Unapologetic Judean” on Instagram put it this way:
“You can say a lot of things about the Jews, but you cannot say that we do not try. We tried being nice, we tried being quiet, we tried hiding in basements and closets, we tried going back to where we came from, we tried donating to other groups’ causes, we tried marching in their marches, we’ve been dimming our light for centuries to not trigger other people’s inner darkness (because every time they get insecure, they start blaming us for all their problems).
We. Have. Been. Trying.
However, it does not seem to be working — and that is on us. We should have figured that out a long time ago. It does matter how much any one of us is willing to forego who we are or where we came from. People will always remind us that, ultimately, we are a bunch of Jews who were never welcomed in the first place.”1
Except, we are welcomed. We are welcomed in Israel, we are welcomed by many of our Jewish family and friends, and we are welcomed by our non-Jewish family and friends who have stood and continue to stand with us in the proverbial pouring rain, while so many others have left us to soak by ourselves.
It is easy to get carried away by all the negativity, the nay-sayers, the haters, the useful idiots, the antisemites disguised as “anti-Zionists” and the antisemites who at least have the courage to admit what they are and not hide behind the ridiculous banner of “anti-Zionism.”
And we know social media does not make it easy to stay away from all these folks. On TikTok, for example, one statistician found that “pro-Palestinian” content outnumbers “pro-Israel” content by a ratio of 36-to-one.2
However, the Jews and Israel have true friends, they are out their in the deafening crowd, even if there are fewer of them, and we ought to wrap our arms around them, deepen our relationships with them, and let everyone else know: We are on the right side of history. If you want to join us, you are more than welcome. If not, may God bless you (and may God bless the State of Israel, if we are on the subject of what God ought to bless, haha).
I suppose it is a natural tendency to want to be liked and accepted, especially for assimilated Jews in the Diaspora, and I do not think there is anything inherently wrong with that. Where many assimilated Jews misstep, from my vantage point, is when they think that their assimilation will shelter them from societies (or segments of society) that turn against the Jews, for they already are.
No current or previous enemy of the Jews cares in the least bit about how assimilated a Jew is, how religious they are (or are not), how much they love or hate (or are indifferent to) Israel, and however else they express (or do not express) their Jewishness.
Palestinian terrorists even killed an Arab Israeli from East Jerusalem on October 7th because, according to the terrorists, he was a “Zionist collaborator.” In other words, our enemies have always effortlessly rationalized the killing of Jews and our friends (perceived and real).
This reminds me of something I saw on social media a few weeks ago:
First they came for the conservatives, and I said that I am not a conservative.
Then they came for the religious, and I said that I am not religious.
Then they came for the Zionists, and I said that I am not a Zionist.
Then they came for the liberals, and I said that I am not a liberal.
Then they came for the progressives, and I said “Why? I have been a good soldier following orders this entire time.”
And they said, “Yeah, but you are still a Jew.”
Thus, being liked or accepted is grossly overrated.
To succeed at defending yourself, it is oftentimes necessary to be stubborn and tenacious. But this can be bad for your image. To succeed in image-making, it is better to be flexible and people-pleasing — but it is even more important to be alive. If you are alive, you can work hard to reconstruct your image, whereas if you are dead, you will be conspicuously popular during your funeral, and the consolation will be transient and brief.
I am sure that many of you, like me, have realized who our true friends are during this Israel-Hamas war, and who unfortunately are not. To think that this process of unfriending will not happen again at some point in the future is, at best, naive. Our circles will invariably get smaller, but if we choose them wisely, they will also get stronger.
It is not our fault or responsibility that most people are on a spectrum of stupid, ignorant, naive, uneducated, brainwashed, gullible, or just plain antisemitic. That is their problem, not ours. May they find other friends who are willing to tolerate it.
The truth is that, deep down, many of these people are weak — mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. They aim to downgrade us to their levels of weakness. The Palestinians are no different, one in the many of failed groups that has tried to bring the Jews down with them.
“The world is terrified of Jewish strength,” wrote Hen Mazzig, a Zionist activist. “The irony is that the world has played a large part in creating what they are so afraid of.”3
“Tenacity and resilience are second nature to the Jewish People,” he added. “But much of that tenacity and resilience was forged through thousands of years of persecution, massacres, pogroms, expulsions, forced conversions, and genocide. Each and every time, the Jewish People had to pick themselves up, piece together what was left, and start anew. It is because of the world’s fear and hatred that we are so strong. This time is no different. We will survive, we will rebuild, and we will thrive once again.”
Mazzig is Israeli, and Israelis know that antisemites are empowered by Jewish fear and neutralized by Jewish strength. Well before and certainly after the founding of the Jewish state in 1948, Israelis have been the change to this equation. It is time for the rest of us to follow suit.
Unapologetic Judean on Instagram
“Inside the Israel-Hamas Information War.” TIME.
Hen Mazzig on X
I suppose were I to be confronted by someone shouting "don't you care about the Palestinians/women or children who have been killed?" I'd respond. "I care slightly more than you do about the Israelis, men, women and children who were slaughtered by Hamas on 7th Oct simply because they were Jews or working with Jews. I care slightly more than you do about the 500k Syrians slaughtered by fellow Muslims in the ongoing civil war. I care more than you do about the women in Iran, raped and murdered by the regime for refusing to cover their hair. I care more than you do about the Uyghurs in Chinese concentration camps or the Sudanese locked in years of civil war. Because if you did care about these issues affecting your fellow muslims you would spend as time marching and screaming as you do when Israel is defending itself"
To say I can even remotely understand the Jewish situation would be, in my opinion, foolhardy. I am an old Canadian nurse who many years ago bathed a lady scarred with a numbered tattoo. It broke my heart. I read the stories by Corrie Ten Boom, the diary of Anne Frank, I read the stories of the Jewish people in my Bible. For over fifty years I have kept my eye on Jerusalem. In my humble opinion it seems to me that the Jewish people, the country of Israel, has had to fight for its survival and that they have been defending themselves for thousands of years. I pray for the peace of Israel.