Kaitlin, I enjoyed your article even though my own journey took me in the opposite direction.
I was raised largely in an Orthodox environment, but over time I became an agnostic. I simply had to be honest with myself. I never found the faith that my religious siblings found, and I still haven't.
My view is that people need to search for what gives them meaning, purpose, and peace. As long as they don't impose their beliefs on others, and others don't impose beliefs on them, I have no issue with the path they choose.
Personally, I have a hard time believing that out of thousands of religions that have existed throughout human history, any one group can be absolutely certain it has found the one true path. But I've also come to believe that the real value of religion is not whether it can prove it is uniquely correct. The value is whether it helps people live a better, more meaningful life.
If Orthodoxy has given you that sense of purpose and fulfillment, then I say good for you. Some people find their answers through religion. Some through philosophy. Some through family, work, community, or other pursuits.
We're all searching in our own way.
The people who truly care about you may not always understand your choices, but ultimately they should be happy when you've found something that brings meaning and happiness into your life.
The Divine Spark dwells within you. Don’t build your temple of stone, for stone will crumble. Build your temple of your heart, for your heart is eternal.
The belief in the “divine spark” doesn’t square with the Torah. It’s a gnostic idea based on the blasphemous belief that the God of the Torah is an evil demiurge who imprisoned light beings in matter (ie the physical universe) and that the serpent offered Eve the “knowledge” to be free. This knowledge or gnosis is said to be an “inner knowing” that we are supposedly God and will only know fullness as we meld back into an impersonal, unknowable pantheistic God who is believed to be all that exists. Every mystical belief system is based on this lie.
The One True God of the Torah—the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob—is not that god! The whole point of the Torah is God revealing Himself to man. God desires that we KNOW Him and LOVE Him as our Heavenly Father.
LMS, it’s true that God used humans to write the Torah, but these writers wrote under divine inspiration. IOW, God Himself inspired them through His Holy Spirit. How wonderful is this—that God can use sinful man in such a way!
Question: Do you believe that the God of the Torah is the demiurge, believed to be a lower god wrongly created by the goddess Sophia?
Scripture is our guiding method of understanding the Divine. Sages of the past secretly encouraged in discourse on the Torah and wrote commentaries worth reading.
Consider scriptures that you have not read. In them is much wisdom waiting.
Not sure if you saw my question. If you choose not to answer it, that’s fine. Just trying to get an idea of where you’re coming from. BTW, there are many “scriptures” that are false in that they are not inspired by the God of the Torah. They are “inspired” by the god of this world. I hope you come to see the truth!
Mazel Tov, Kaitlin. Our family grew up Episcopalian with youth groups, confirmation, mission trips and I taught Sunday school when my 2 children were that age. Fast forward my daughter converted after 2 years of discernment, a year studying at a school in Jeruselum ( My visit was wonderful.).
Fast forward I am blessed with 4 grandchildren from my daughter and son-in-law. They are living an active Orthodox life out west within a supportive family community. I made an effort to understand and learn ( while making awkward errors along the way) and respect their life and have found that their community is warm and welcoming. Even to this non-Jewish grandmother. I wear modest clothing amongst them when visiting.
While her journey is her story, I have found some peace in their rituals.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
Very nice essay, although I think you’ve overstated that it’s “admirable” to be a “lox and bagel” Jew or a Jew following an atheist “rabbi.” Perhaps a better term should be that we are respectful of all people who reciprocate the same respect for us on our various paths to spiritual fulfillment. May you continue on your own path. Mazal Tov!
I loved every word of your article and I thought it was beautiful that you came to this for yourself. Thank you for explaining all of that especially the last part about the modern ways we find our own journey.
Hi. I enjoyed your article. I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the reform congregation you spoke of in your article. I am happy to be a member of a reform congregation where our Sr. Rabbi wears a yamilke and keeps kosher. We are a zionist congregation fully supporting our right to have a jewish state. We have torah study classes etc, etc. But we do believe in choice. I have an orthodox son and daughter - in - law, so I understand your journey. I hope folks reading your article don't get the impression that all reform synagogues share your experience. Good luck with your journey.
Kaitlin I am certain you are cut out for this. It's your inquisitive nature that binds you to Hashem, for all the right reasons. I am happy to follow your journey and love the way you write
Using your gifts to their full ability is proof positive that Hashem works through you and we are all better for it
Kaitlin, I enjoyed your article even though my own journey took me in the opposite direction.
I was raised largely in an Orthodox environment, but over time I became an agnostic. I simply had to be honest with myself. I never found the faith that my religious siblings found, and I still haven't.
My view is that people need to search for what gives them meaning, purpose, and peace. As long as they don't impose their beliefs on others, and others don't impose beliefs on them, I have no issue with the path they choose.
Personally, I have a hard time believing that out of thousands of religions that have existed throughout human history, any one group can be absolutely certain it has found the one true path. But I've also come to believe that the real value of religion is not whether it can prove it is uniquely correct. The value is whether it helps people live a better, more meaningful life.
If Orthodoxy has given you that sense of purpose and fulfillment, then I say good for you. Some people find their answers through religion. Some through philosophy. Some through family, work, community, or other pursuits.
We're all searching in our own way.
The people who truly care about you may not always understand your choices, but ultimately they should be happy when you've found something that brings meaning and happiness into your life.
I wish you well on your journey.
Pro-Jew, proudly Zionist
Welcome!
I too felt my soul sing when I attended a synagogue for the first time
The Divine Spark dwells within you. Don’t build your temple of stone, for stone will crumble. Build your temple of your heart, for your heart is eternal.
The belief in the “divine spark” doesn’t square with the Torah. It’s a gnostic idea based on the blasphemous belief that the God of the Torah is an evil demiurge who imprisoned light beings in matter (ie the physical universe) and that the serpent offered Eve the “knowledge” to be free. This knowledge or gnosis is said to be an “inner knowing” that we are supposedly God and will only know fullness as we meld back into an impersonal, unknowable pantheistic God who is believed to be all that exists. Every mystical belief system is based on this lie.
The One True God of the Torah—the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob—is not that god! The whole point of the Torah is God revealing Himself to man. God desires that we KNOW Him and LOVE Him as our Heavenly Father.
Precisely correct! Gnosis is direct knowing through Divine Consciousness, not books authored by humans. What you seek, you already are.
LMS, it’s true that God used humans to write the Torah, but these writers wrote under divine inspiration. IOW, God Himself inspired them through His Holy Spirit. How wonderful is this—that God can use sinful man in such a way!
Question: Do you believe that the God of the Torah is the demiurge, believed to be a lower god wrongly created by the goddess Sophia?
Scripture is our guiding method of understanding the Divine. Sages of the past secretly encouraged in discourse on the Torah and wrote commentaries worth reading.
Consider scriptures that you have not read. In them is much wisdom waiting.
Not sure if you saw my question. If you choose not to answer it, that’s fine. Just trying to get an idea of where you’re coming from. BTW, there are many “scriptures” that are false in that they are not inspired by the God of the Torah. They are “inspired” by the god of this world. I hope you come to see the truth!
I must leave this conversation where it is. It was my pleasure talking with you. You will make the decision right for you.
Thank you. I made that decision 50 years ago and have never regretted it. I pray that you will know the One True God of the Torah!
Mazel Tov, Kaitlin. Our family grew up Episcopalian with youth groups, confirmation, mission trips and I taught Sunday school when my 2 children were that age. Fast forward my daughter converted after 2 years of discernment, a year studying at a school in Jeruselum ( My visit was wonderful.).
Fast forward I am blessed with 4 grandchildren from my daughter and son-in-law. They are living an active Orthodox life out west within a supportive family community. I made an effort to understand and learn ( while making awkward errors along the way) and respect their life and have found that their community is warm and welcoming. Even to this non-Jewish grandmother. I wear modest clothing amongst them when visiting.
While her journey is her story, I have found some peace in their rituals.
You don’t convert to “Orthodox Judaism”. Jews aren’t a bunch of “Judaism practitioners”.
You’re joining the Jewish People.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
I wish you Mazal Tov, success and happiness. Maybe you have finally found the direction of life that will offer you peace, tranquility and a light. 🙏
Shkoiyach and welcome.
Magnificent piece. I wish you much Hatzlacha on your journey.
ברוך הבאה
Very nice essay, although I think you’ve overstated that it’s “admirable” to be a “lox and bagel” Jew or a Jew following an atheist “rabbi.” Perhaps a better term should be that we are respectful of all people who reciprocate the same respect for us on our various paths to spiritual fulfillment. May you continue on your own path. Mazal Tov!
You are so lucky to have a wonderful husband who is by your side on your journey!
I loved every word of your article and I thought it was beautiful that you came to this for yourself. Thank you for explaining all of that especially the last part about the modern ways we find our own journey.
Hi. I enjoyed your article. I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the reform congregation you spoke of in your article. I am happy to be a member of a reform congregation where our Sr. Rabbi wears a yamilke and keeps kosher. We are a zionist congregation fully supporting our right to have a jewish state. We have torah study classes etc, etc. But we do believe in choice. I have an orthodox son and daughter - in - law, so I understand your journey. I hope folks reading your article don't get the impression that all reform synagogues share your experience. Good luck with your journey.
Kaitlin I am certain you are cut out for this. It's your inquisitive nature that binds you to Hashem, for all the right reasons. I am happy to follow your journey and love the way you write
Using your gifts to their full ability is proof positive that Hashem works through you and we are all better for it