Kaitlin, I enjoyed your article even though my own journey took me in the opposite direction.
I was raised largely in an Orthodox environment, but over time I became an agnostic. I simply had to be honest with myself. I never found the faith that my religious siblings found, and I still haven't.
My view is that people need to search for what gives them meaning, purpose, and peace. As long as they don't impose their beliefs on others, and others don't impose beliefs on them, I have no issue with the path they choose.
Personally, I have a hard time believing that out of thousands of religions that have existed throughout human history, any one group can be absolutely certain it has found the one true path. But I've also come to believe that the real value of religion is not whether it can prove it is uniquely correct. The value is whether it helps people live a better, more meaningful life.
If Orthodoxy has given you that sense of purpose and fulfillment, then I say good for you. Some people find their answers through religion. Some through philosophy. Some through family, work, community, or other pursuits.
We're all searching in our own way.
The people who truly care about you may not always understand your choices, but ultimately they should be happy when you've found something that brings meaning and happiness into your life.
Mazel Tov, Kaitlin. Our family grew up Episcopalian with youth groups, confirmation, mission trips and I taught Sunday school when my 2 children were that age. Fast forward my daughter converted after 2 years of discernment, a year studying at a school in Jeruselum ( My visit was wonderful.).
Fast forward I am blessed with 4 grandchildren from my daughter and son-in-law. They are living an active Orthodox life out west within a supportive family community. I made an effort to understand and learn ( while making awkward errors along the way) and respect their life and have found that their community is warm and welcoming. Even to this non-Jewish grandmother. I wear modest clothing amongst them when visiting.
While her journey is her story, I have found some peace in their rituals.
Thank you for your correction ( another of my awkward errors. I suppose). While my daughter chose a Jewish path. She lives within the Orthodox daily life as do my grandchildren and her husband.
IF she had simply said she had joined the Jewish people, that would not really have been her story.
And you are welcome to believe what you want, I don't believe anyone who does not keep the Covenant has any right to call themselves a Jew. And that they bring shame and disaster to their neighbors, all through history.
I know that is not a popular belief, but it absolutely is mine.
A Jew, Yehudi, is someone whose ancestors were from Judah, Yehuda: a kingdom, a region, a tribe with a language and culture. Its synonym is Israel, as Judah was one of the 12 tribes of Israel and really the only surviving one with a critical mass.
The Jewish people are a religio-nation. And we accept converts who join our People, which can also be seen as a sort of a nation-club.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
So, your Rabbi is okay with this? I am surprised, if so. I live over 20 miles away, in a different town, because all my town has is a Reform congregatiion.
One day, when my car was broken down, I rode a bicycle. When the Rabbi [Conservative| realized what I had done, he very emphatically told me never to do it again.
He himself wears a full beard, and walks to services, and I never feel l am being restrained unfairly, and never have asked why he is okay with people driving cars, because in my experience, no Rabbi I ever met agrees with riding a bike on Shabbat.
I attend a Torah Centered Reform Synagogue that meets in a Conservative Synagogue complex. We meet in their old chapel. The majority of our group keep kosher.The parking lot is always full so I think most everyone drives..
I would ask your Rabbi why he thinks it's better you should stay home than fulfill the mitzvah of coming to shuel?
Mazel tov! Fabulous essay. While I’m not orthodox I love the Chabad and take classes with them. I’m investigating going kosher. Don’t listen to the nay sayers. Baruch Hashem.
You really should be Kosher, for your health nearly as much as for your belief. The things forbidden are health disasters! There are somewhere right around a dozen different diseases you can get from pigs, search for it, you will see.
Also, I once saw a photo of a child, whose parents believed themselves smarter than El, and fed seafood to their child.
He now is wheelchair bound, and he can't even turn the wheels, he has a tube he puffs into to move around, and he will never get better without a miracle.
This last bit is purely personal, but it stuns me when Reform Jews wax rhapsodic over the smell of bacon frying.
Personally, I think it is a stench that is intolerable to me. If I am eating and smell it, the meal is over, for me, and I get out of there pronto.
Finally, my Mother once accidentally ingested Mussels. Her throat swelled shut, and she barely made it to the hospital in time. Talk about terrifying!
El never denies His people ANY good thing.
If He denies you something, it's because it is not a good thing, and He does know .
Really enjoyed reading this. I’m currently in the process of an Orthodox conversion too, and it’s always meaningful to see someone put words to experiences that can be difficult to explain.
Hi. I enjoyed your article. I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the reform congregation you spoke of in your article. I am happy to be a member of a reform congregation where our Sr. Rabbi wears a yamilke and keeps kosher. We are a zionist congregation fully supporting our right to have a jewish state. We have torah study classes etc, etc. But we do believe in choice. I have an orthodox son and daughter - in - law, so I understand your journey. I hope folks reading your article don't get the impression that all reform synagogues share your experience. Good luck with your journey.
Mazel tov. You will make wonderful friends and a special community.. I taught Hebrew for years in a Reform synogue. I asked the rabbi to come in to teach the boys how to wrap tifillin. He didn't know. Reform Judaism isn't Judaism.
Very nice essay, although I think you’ve overstated that it’s “admirable” to be a “lox and bagel” Jew or a Jew following an atheist “rabbi.” Perhaps a better term should be that we are respectful of all people who reciprocate the same respect for us on our various paths to spiritual fulfillment. May you continue on your own path. Mazal Tov!
Kaitlin, I enjoyed your article even though my own journey took me in the opposite direction.
I was raised largely in an Orthodox environment, but over time I became an agnostic. I simply had to be honest with myself. I never found the faith that my religious siblings found, and I still haven't.
My view is that people need to search for what gives them meaning, purpose, and peace. As long as they don't impose their beliefs on others, and others don't impose beliefs on them, I have no issue with the path they choose.
Personally, I have a hard time believing that out of thousands of religions that have existed throughout human history, any one group can be absolutely certain it has found the one true path. But I've also come to believe that the real value of religion is not whether it can prove it is uniquely correct. The value is whether it helps people live a better, more meaningful life.
If Orthodoxy has given you that sense of purpose and fulfillment, then I say good for you. Some people find their answers through religion. Some through philosophy. Some through family, work, community, or other pursuits.
We're all searching in our own way.
The people who truly care about you may not always understand your choices, but ultimately they should be happy when you've found something that brings meaning and happiness into your life.
I wish you well on your journey.
Pro-Jew, proudly Zionist
Mazel Tov, Kaitlin. Our family grew up Episcopalian with youth groups, confirmation, mission trips and I taught Sunday school when my 2 children were that age. Fast forward my daughter converted after 2 years of discernment, a year studying at a school in Jeruselum ( My visit was wonderful.).
Fast forward I am blessed with 4 grandchildren from my daughter and son-in-law. They are living an active Orthodox life out west within a supportive family community. I made an effort to understand and learn ( while making awkward errors along the way) and respect their life and have found that their community is warm and welcoming. Even to this non-Jewish grandmother. I wear modest clothing amongst them when visiting.
While her journey is her story, I have found some peace in their rituals.
Welcome!
I too felt my soul sing when I attended a synagogue for the first time
You don’t convert to “Orthodox Judaism”. Jews aren’t a bunch of “Judaism practitioners”.
You’re joining the Jewish People.
Thank you for your correction ( another of my awkward errors. I suppose). While my daughter chose a Jewish path. She lives within the Orthodox daily life as do my grandchildren and her husband.
I don't believe you have been corrected. Obviously, she chose to write about The Orthodox.
Anyone else can write about whatever they want to, and she has that same right.
IF she had simply said she had joined the Jewish people, that would not really have been her story.
And you are welcome to believe what you want, I don't believe anyone who does not keep the Covenant has any right to call themselves a Jew. And that they bring shame and disaster to their neighbors, all through history.
I know that is not a popular belief, but it absolutely is mine.
A Jew, Yehudi, is someone whose ancestors were from Judah, Yehuda: a kingdom, a region, a tribe with a language and culture. Its synonym is Israel, as Judah was one of the 12 tribes of Israel and really the only surviving one with a critical mass.
The Jewish people are a religio-nation. And we accept converts who join our People, which can also be seen as a sort of a nation-club.
True
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
Perfect description. Everyone is searching, or everyone has a God-shaped hole in their heart, and when they close that door to religion, they find something else to fill that hole. Unaware that Progressivism has become a new social religion.
"The yearning is the same. The architecture is the same. We have not stopped wanting any of this. We have just gotten embarrassed about wanting it with a tradition attached, so we have outsourced the tradition to more modern organizations and causes —"
Mazel Tov on your journey to Modern Orthodoxy and finding meaning for your life.
I fell in love with the Torah; it contained all the answers I had been searching for, and, most of all, it makes sense! Unlike Catholicism, which insists on unexplainable dogma you must believe even though they can't explain it really well.
I too am in the process of converting to Judaism. I keep kosher according to Torah law. My exception is using a car on Shabbat to attend services. I live too far away to walk.
I support you fully. If I were younger, I would absolutely choose Orthodox Judaism.
So, your Rabbi is okay with this? I am surprised, if so. I live over 20 miles away, in a different town, because all my town has is a Reform congregatiion.
One day, when my car was broken down, I rode a bicycle. When the Rabbi [Conservative| realized what I had done, he very emphatically told me never to do it again.
He himself wears a full beard, and walks to services, and I never feel l am being restrained unfairly, and never have asked why he is okay with people driving cars, because in my experience, no Rabbi I ever met agrees with riding a bike on Shabbat.
I attend a Torah Centered Reform Synagogue that meets in a Conservative Synagogue complex. We meet in their old chapel. The majority of our group keep kosher.The parking lot is always full so I think most everyone drives..
I would ask your Rabbi why he thinks it's better you should stay home than fulfill the mitzvah of coming to shuel?
I wish you Mazal Tov, success and happiness. Maybe you have finally found the direction of life that will offer you peace, tranquility and a light. 🙏
Mazel tov! Fabulous essay. While I’m not orthodox I love the Chabad and take classes with them. I’m investigating going kosher. Don’t listen to the nay sayers. Baruch Hashem.
You really should be Kosher, for your health nearly as much as for your belief. The things forbidden are health disasters! There are somewhere right around a dozen different diseases you can get from pigs, search for it, you will see.
Also, I once saw a photo of a child, whose parents believed themselves smarter than El, and fed seafood to their child.
He now is wheelchair bound, and he can't even turn the wheels, he has a tube he puffs into to move around, and he will never get better without a miracle.
This last bit is purely personal, but it stuns me when Reform Jews wax rhapsodic over the smell of bacon frying.
Personally, I think it is a stench that is intolerable to me. If I am eating and smell it, the meal is over, for me, and I get out of there pronto.
Finally, my Mother once accidentally ingested Mussels. Her throat swelled shut, and she barely made it to the hospital in time. Talk about terrifying!
El never denies His people ANY good thing.
If He denies you something, it's because it is not a good thing, and He does know .
I keep Kosher style but haven’t taken the head on plunge.. yet.
Magnificent piece. I wish you much Hatzlacha on your journey.
Really enjoyed reading this. I’m currently in the process of an Orthodox conversion too, and it’s always meaningful to see someone put words to experiences that can be difficult to explain.
I recently shared part of my own story here as well: https://laurenannotates.substack.com/p/i-wasnt-looking-for-religion?r=afabf&utm_medium=ios
Wishing you continued success on your journey!!
Hi. I enjoyed your article. I'm so sorry you had such a negative experience with the reform congregation you spoke of in your article. I am happy to be a member of a reform congregation where our Sr. Rabbi wears a yamilke and keeps kosher. We are a zionist congregation fully supporting our right to have a jewish state. We have torah study classes etc, etc. But we do believe in choice. I have an orthodox son and daughter - in - law, so I understand your journey. I hope folks reading your article don't get the impression that all reform synagogues share your experience. Good luck with your journey.
But does El believe in choice?
Shkoiyach and welcome.
Mazel tov. You will make wonderful friends and a special community.. I taught Hebrew for years in a Reform synogue. I asked the rabbi to come in to teach the boys how to wrap tifillin. He didn't know. Reform Judaism isn't Judaism.
Very nice essay, although I think you’ve overstated that it’s “admirable” to be a “lox and bagel” Jew or a Jew following an atheist “rabbi.” Perhaps a better term should be that we are respectful of all people who reciprocate the same respect for us on our various paths to spiritual fulfillment. May you continue on your own path. Mazal Tov!
Brucha habaa... welcome to a loud and opinionated and diverse tribe... never a dull moment...
Welcome to the Tribe, KK. Highly recommended that you visit Eretz Israel, for more information on the many flavors of Judaism.