You Might Be Antisemitic: A Handy Guide for the Aspiring Anti-Zionist

Follow this nine-step manual to determine if your noble anti-Zionist crusade has veered into the murky waters of good old-fashioned antisemitism.

It’s “resistance by any means necessary” for Palestinians — but “genocide,” “ethnic cleansing” and “colonialism” when Jews defend themselves. (photo: Shai Davidai/X)

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So, you have taken a stance against Zionism.

Kol hacavod! (That’s Hebrew for, “Good job!”)

But wait — are people accusing you of antisemitism? That is preposterous, right?!

You are just criticizing a White supremacist, imperialist, genocidal, colonialist, violent settler, nationalistic political movement — not despising an entire group of people.

Or are you?

All sarcasm aside, antisemitism is a spectrum: from pure and utter Jew hatred, to jealousy and loathing, to expecting more from the Jewish People than from any other group, to saying antisemitic things not in intention but in outcome.

Now, let’s dive into some sure-fire ways to determine if your noble anti-Zionist crusade has veered into the murky waters of good old-fashioned antisemitism.

Step 1:

Generalize and stereotype — it’s just efficient!

Why waste time distinguishing between individual Jews when you can lump them all together? If you find yourself saying things like, “All Jews support Israel’s actions,” congratulations! You are making life easier for yourself with broad, sweeping generalizations.

Sure, it is an antisemitic trope, but it saves so much time compared to understanding the diversity within the Jewish world, no less within Israel.

Step 2:

Hold Jews everywhere accountable.

Got a bone to pick with the Israeli government? Blame your Jewish neighbor or that Jewish colleague at work. After all, they must have some secret hotline to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, right?

If you are criticizing Jews worldwide for the actions of the Israeli state, you are definitely anti-Zionist — and maybe just a touch antisemitic. Who knew holding an entire group of people responsible for a nation’s policies could be so straightforward?

Step 3:

Double standards? Yes, please!

Why criticize human rights abuses in multiple countries when you can laser-focus on Israel? If you are boycotting Israeli products but cannot be bothered with, say, products from other nations that have truly questionable records, you might be practicing the fine art of selective outrage.

Surely, though, it is not that you are antisemitic; it is just that no other country’s actions are quite as important to you, right?

Step 4:

Holocaust comparisons — always a good idea.

Drawing parallels between Israeli policies and Nazi Germany is a classic move. Not only is it historically insensitive, but it is guaranteed to offend.

If your go-to critique involves throwing around terms like “genocide” and “ethnic cleansing” with reckless abandon, you are really making Jewish blood libel waves.

Step 5:

Deny Jewish self-determination — it is only fair.

Self-determination for Palestinians? Absolutely. For Jews? Not so fast.

If you are arguing that Jews, unlike any other group, do not deserve a state of their own, you are on the right track. It is not antisemitism, it is just... different strokes for different folks. Who needs consistency when you have righteous indignation?

Step 6:

Echo conspiracy theories — the more outlandish, the better.

“Zionists control the U.S. government,” “AIPAC has too much power,” “It’s all a Zionist plot” — these are just some of the fun conspiracy theories you can sprinkle into your rhetoric.

If your anti-Zionism includes a dash of conspiracies, you are hitting all the antisemitic high notes. Plus, it is a great way to ignore real, nuanced political issues.

Step 7:

Ignore Jewish voices (unless they agree with you).

Why bother listening to the vast array of Jewish opinions when you can find that one Jewish anti-Zionist to validate all your beliefs?

It is not like Jewish people have a variety of perspectives or anything, anyway.

If you are only amplifying Jewish voices that align perfectly with your views, you are definitely keeping things nice, uncomplicated, and antisemitic.

Step 8:

Draw a clear distinction between Jewish Israelis (i.e. Zionists) and non-Israeli Jews.

Sure, drawing a clear distinction between Jewish Israelis (i.e. Zionists) and non-Israeli Jews is like trying to separate chocolate chips from cookie dough after the cookies have been baked.

We know, we know — you love Jews and hate Zionists, just like you love free speech and hate America.

Step 9:

Use code words (that anyone with access to Google knows what they mean) and then gaslight people when they call you out for these vile words.

You know, like:

• “From the river to the sea”

• “By any means necessary”

• “Rape is resistance”

• “Khaybar Khaybar ya yahud”

• “Free Free Palestine”

Conclusion:

Wear your anti-Zionism with pride!

In conclusion, being an anti-Zionist does not automatically make you antisemitic, but it sure helps if you follow these tips. Who needs the hassle of nuanced discussion or understanding of deeply entrenched historical contexts?

With these handy steps, you can straddle that fine line between political critique and ethnic prejudice with ease. So go ahead, wear your antisemitism — err, anti-Zionism — with pride.

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